i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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