i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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