ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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