You're so nebulous sometimes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize