You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
