Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
