we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Damn victory sex feels great
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
