if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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