i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
