you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize