The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
