OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
