She is in my trunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
