We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
