he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
