ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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