This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
