Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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