I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
