I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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