Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize