My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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