Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
