I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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