I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
