I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
