nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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