If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
