ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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