Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
