I think I died a long time ago.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
