You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
