hell yes lets make some ravioli
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
