Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
