drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
