tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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