I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
