I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
