Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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