I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
