cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
