My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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