We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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