if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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