I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
