I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I touched a dick in church today
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
