If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dicks are not precious.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
