At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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