I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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