wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
