Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
