i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
