Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
