I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
