So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
