her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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