singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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