you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
