Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
