Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
