Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
