Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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