It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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