He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
