Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
