are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
