We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think i have two assholes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
