God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
