i was born a porn star she said
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
