I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
