i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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