I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
