Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Me too!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
