She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
